chem was alright today.
:D

chinese was stupid, but it always is!

THIRTEEN is a very nice number. (:

i must believe,
that you'll still be there for me,
that you wont just walk away and leave me in the lurch like so many before
that you didnt lie
that it wasnt just a moment of insanity
that i did make you smile
that you do care
that this situation can be fixed
that you wont give up, for me
that it's fate
that i'll survive till friday
that i'll survive past friday
that miracles happen.

(:

YAY.
maybe things will turn out a-okay after all!
i'm optimistic! ((:

i should stop fretting over what will go awry.
it'll all be FINE, FINE.

or if it doesnt, i still have the knowledge that
i have you.

:D

NOOOO i'm so ill-prepared for tmr's papers!
i am NOT prepared for chem,
and i feel i really dont care.
((:
that's bad right.

i should stop ump chioing.

(((((:

music studies could have been worse.
music writing major was a killer.
so yeaaaaaa.

was intending to study mep during assembly period
BUT i started sleeping during geog and couldnt get out of my sleepy stupor.
and meanasses laughed at my handwriting.
HELLO, i was writing with my eyes closed and a semiconscious mind leh.

again, for the dont know how many-ieth time, I LOVE THE VWC.
TOMORROW!
meeting SUCKS but seeing you all makes everything so much better anyway. (:
no matter what happens, we shall still be happy right!
that's the spirit of the VWC. (:
i love the twelve of you OHSOMUCH and i cant stop saying it!
<3
VWC has been one of the few things i've NEVER regretted in tk.
(:
we overcome, with love.

and your one sentence broke my heart AGAIN.
how could you?
when i said forever, i meant it.
we tried, did you?
i'll never stop missing you, i'll never stop loving you too.
but this is a bit too much to bear.
four years down the road, I REMEMBER.
how could you?
but at least i still have SHIRLEENLOW.
and you have me toooooooo.
and we have FEL.
it's not the same, but still.
four years is a lonng time.
i love you (:

i'm so embarrased. ):
am i really starting to do things i dont realise?
damn.
that reallllyyyyy distracted me during the mep paper la!
but howell. who do i blame, other than myself?

happy birthday claire the concert mistress!!
though you'll probably never ever read this,
you've been a TERRIFIC friend, honestly. (:
<3

ytd's papers were quiteeeeeeeee alright!
compo, picked the courage one.
ironic isnt it?
'must have courage to weed it out!'

compre was easier than usual,
thank goodness.
finished the paper at 1130 and jojo didnt let me sleep. D:
i could've used it okay!

studied at the library with kayan
met tian and hsinyu.
i like studying in the library! (:
again again!

memorising SS was less of a pain in the ass than i imagined.
thank god ss paper's over.
it's a teeny weensy bit of relief.
THERE'S STILL FUCKING GEOGGGGGGGGGGG.

and mep tmr. )):
wanted to come home early to study,
but tuition dragged and dragged.
when it FINALLY ended,
we went out and were like, oh thank goodness it's not raining!
but out of the blue, it was like some one poured a pail of water on our heads. -.-
it was raining sheets laaaaa.
peiqi and i shared one umbrella and we screamed like bimbos whenever we saw lighting.
which is about. once every three steps la. =/
and i missed 10/14 so had to take the next one.


i swear that was the most awkward 15 minutes in my life,
but i needed the assurance.
it's partly fate, partly something else hur.

just a week or so more.
when you're not here, i feel like you're nearly here.
when you're here, it seems like you're only almost here.
or something like that.

no, i HAVENT started on mep THANK YOU.
i have YET TO DRILL HAYDN'S STUPID LIFE INTO MY HEAD,
so please please dont think i'm prepared.
THANK YOU.
i hate having to live up to expectations.
maybe behind the smug-ness and sarcasm, we're hiding what we really feel eh.
and what's that?

i cant let us end up like that.
because finally finally we've faced it i cant afford to lose it all now.
if you can hold on for my sake, i'll never give up.
i just dont see an easy way out of this now.
): i dont want us to end before we start.
i'm fucking scared for SS la.

a picture speaks a thousand words,
so HERE GOES;

i thought i'm okay with the whole leaving string thing already,
since i was so surprisingly calm and happy at clarisa's house that day.
but nooooo. i just had to finish reading the syf notes today.
stupid me.

and now feel sad all over again for having leave string,
leaving the video world clique.
and i know that it's never ever ever going to feel the same again.
even if we go visit them, even if we meet them at video world.
we'll never BE part of them again.
we've LEFT.
maybe i'll never get to feel as loved as i was with the videoworld clique ever again,
maybe i'll never get to hear clarisa's sick phrases and funny stories again,
maybe i'll never get to hear dorisa going hey you're happy today! again,
maybe i'll never get to hear jasmine's screams of MARRY MEEEEE! again,
maybe i'll never get to hear rebecca's crazy and psychotic laughter again,
maybe i'll never get to laugh over the phrase what can you do with a stick! with anyone again,
maybe i'll never get to sit around at videoworld talking about nonsense and completely maluating myself again,
maybe i'll never get to see fel&em being AWWWWW SO SWEEEETTTTT ~ again,
maybe i'll never cry like hell at the busstop and have gay group hugs again.

gosh,
and this is what happens after i read letter after letter telling me not to be sad.
oh the irony.

RANDOM FACTS FROM YTD'S POST FAREWELL PARTAYYYYYYYYY.
claire's house is HEAVEN.
edna eats ALOT.
rebecca likes dancing in the middle of the road dangerously. -.-
when vicki sleeps and you try to wake her up, she'll stone intensely.
white chicks is a funny (although slightly sick) movie!
MASS SMSES ARE ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT OF FUNNN! ((:


awwwwwwwww rebecca just sent me a superly sweet msg.
DARLING I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU.
i know i've known you for barely four months,
but it feels like you've been my bestfriend FOREVER.
thanks for listening to everything i've groused about,
and know that i'll always ALWAYS be here for you, rain or shine!
STUDY HARD AND GET INTO A GOOD CLASS NEXT YEAR.
after my Os, we'll go WILDDDDD! :D

maybe like vicki, i'm getting string withdrawal symptoms too!
D:

slept from 12 to 4 two nights in a row already.
omgggggggg. i've no idea what's wrong with my biological alarm clock.
i feel WIDE AWAKE at 4am. -.-
the first night, it was cos of SYF.
and last night, i dont know.

sonia cheeeeooooookkkkkkkkkk.
if you're reading this,
THERE'S MORE of what you read ytd.
how? ):

please dont make me fall deeper unless,

like fucking demons screwing up the thoughts in our heads.

Labels: How now brown cow?

after dinosaur years we've finally acknowledged our situation,
but now HOW.
if this drags on i'll lose my mind furthur.
and it's not like i'm very sane now.

i hope i'm not taking this wrongly. =/

today's really really the end.
i took everything quite well, really!
i only cried 6 times, and for very short periods of time only.
YAY.
it could've been SO MUCH WORSE OKAY.

thank you myfriend, xiu, ching, leung, rai, oli, hannah for the nice messages in the morning. (:
thank you people who wished me luck in class before i left. (:

SYF wasnt fantastic, but it's good enough.

oh and i'm sorry to everyone i ignored early in the morning in class today.
i was really about to get a nervous breakdown.

thank you nice people who tried to calm me down, but failed.

i hope our results arent too much of a disappointment.

while waiting for results to be announced,
I SUCCESFULLY FOUND A DISTRACTION.
omg, EYECANDY!
and it wasnt just me, quite a number of ppl spotted EYECANDY and i think we were pretty obvious staring at him. -.-
and RYCE knows him!!!!
she's gonna find out his name and AGE for me. (:
i've no idea what's the point, but i still want it ANYWAY.
oh at one point of time, eyecandy pointed at somewhere around me,
and the whole row panicked and OMG-ed so loudly. -.-
haha, i think we thoroughly embarassed ourselves,
but it was OH SO MUCH FUN.

clarisa's house, as quoted from VICKI
is like heaven.
i could just stay there and never leave for ever!
i'm too lazy to blog about what we did there.
-.-

i swear i'm going crazy.
no you shouldnt have been/be so sweet.
my heart cant take it.
your honesty melted my heart la.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VICKI THE SEXY!
i love you i love you i love you i love you!
and i hope you like the card from THE videoworld clique! ((:

emo stringe stuff will come at a later date.
writing syf notes are killing me. =/
i havent even started on LETTERS yet.
i'm racking my head to think of things to write, BUT EVERYWORD IS FILLED WITH LOVE. <3
i'm only at WHIMSY.
o.o

dinner at the hostel place.
i liked the chicken riceeee!

i havent been this honest in awhile.
but i'm sorry if i upset you. ):
sometimes, the truth really hurts.

i feel really really really strange.

how could i forget hur?

---------------------------------------

i hate being in class

our very very very last practice.
i feel heartbroken, for some strange reason.
the day i have been waiting for for about a YEAR is finally here,
but now it sucks that it's ending. )):

the videoworld clique has been my EVERYTHING this four months.
there's no way else i could have survived.

rebecca vicki fel&em edna clarisa chels dorisa nisha sonia jasmine
and everyone else who joined us one time or other.

today felt quite normal.
except for the fact that it's our LAST.

talked about string's past, present, future.
ALIEN, you'll do FINE! ((:
and besides, we love you (:

we were so so so reluctant to leave. ):
walked out to the bus stop and there we broke down one after another. )):
6 of us must have looked so gay,
crying out of the blue at the bus stop under the night sky.
EM HAS THE CUTEST WAY OF CRYING I'VE EVER EVER EVER SEEN.
now that string's close to it's end for me, I DOWANNA LEAVE. ))):
what would i do hur, now that i dont have string to rush for afterschool 3 times a week?

out of the blue, edna said,
ehh! you look pretty when you cry!
LOL. it's quite a curse isnt it,
only can look pretty while crying.
O.o

my eyes hurt like anything.

ben and jerry's day was todayyyyyyyyyy!
went to suntec, saw the SCARY queue and decided to go eat waffle instead!
leung said the queue moved fast though. D:
OHWELL. sec4 string outing was still quite nice. ((:
going late for string was so worth it. (:

ohhhhh. i havent seen this much drama in string since-
oh wait, i have never EVER seen this much drama in string.
O.o

and apparently, I'VE A KILLER STARE!
woohoo, do i?
lol.

NO MORE JJ FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

videoworld was so NOISY today!
haha. and claire and delia came too!
what an honour hur!
x)
witnessed a PROPOSAL.
O.O
lol. more jasmine was rejected though!
and her screams of MARRY ME, MARRY ME!
were TOO AMUSING. xD

vicki and i agree that fel&em are AWWWWWWWWW~ SO SWEET!
in a completely non-scandalous way.
cool hur!

heehees. (:

it wasnt a good day, it cant be april sixteenth everyday. )):
but string made it a nice enough day,
string made my day. (:

and and, i finished the mep composition! (which isnt supposed to be done at home, but, WTV.)
((:

im curious yet i'm SCARED. =/

happy april sixteenth. ((:

the day turned out as HAPPY and GAY as it's supposed to be.
JOY OH JOY.

may april sixteenth happen every day! ((:

let's squeal in the spirit of the day!

the above probably doesnt make any sense at all.
but well, that doesnt matter.

listening to Divertimento in F makes me fucking cry.

i was so tempted to tell you
no, i'm not okay.
but i also must bear in mind that
i must not be stupid enough to let it happen a third time.
so yay. i lied again.
i miss you, but i wont hurt her again. ):
i'll live.

speech day.
boring.
huimin was hilarious :D

FINALLY FINALLY got the syf stuff with kailing. (:
we got so HIGH and RETARDED. ((:
oh it's not heavy!
eh no price tag, must be free!
omg why is there a rattling sound?!
I LOVE YOU KAILING. (:
may we not drift after next friday. )):

luya chiu was so complimentary today.
she actually said my playing ALMOST sounds like the recording.
like, OMG.
that's like mr lee telling us ytd he'd give us 92 marks.
HA.HA.HA.
i refuse to listen to that crap.

the higher i hope, the harder i fall.
i know.

and if i guessed right,
it's the first, second and fourth.
because i never stopped caring.
but there're some things time can never heal.
never.

FRIDAY THE THIRTEENETH wasnt an unlucky day. (:
hoho.
BUT. i just realised i have a kinda long cut on my leg,
that doesnt hurt and i've no memory of getting my leg cut either!
spooky.
=/

recess string practices realllllyyyyyyyyyyyy pisses me off.
and the stupid chem relief teacher irritates me too.
i felt so ROAR.
i'm sorry for daoing ppl around me, like SAYANG! ):
and thank you leung, for your chocolate bread thingyy. (:
i must learn to control my temper.

yeoyeo was so cute during legacy today.
i come from singapore, our homeland!
rained cats and dogs, so kai and i couldnt go get syf presents ):
have to go tmr after speech day instead. ):

today's the last friday stringe practice we'll ever, ever have.
that makes me sad. ):
no matter how much i dread it, i kind of dont want this to end afterall.
the last friday videoworld trip too.
lots of ppl came today though!
claire the PERVERT and fel&em came too (:
laughed till my sides hurt!
i'm going to miss all this so much.

i'll try my best to appreciate the last week of stringe,
and stop whining!

i resist change!
i'd like to live in the past forever.

bad mood from ytd dragged 4 whole periods today.
string during recess didnt really help that either.

the weather SUCKS.
rainy days mean fucking FROGS everywhere.

the two hour long mep ca was spent slacking at the foyer!
the song is too short!
ugh. dont know how to composeeeeeee. ):
it's a supposedly romantic poem though.

had tuition at night.
bus ride was nice,
i miss talking to you! D:

tuition was HAHAHA as usual.
but i felt to drained to have as much fun as i usually do anyway. ):

asked a question.
did you have to take so long to give me the stupid answer?!
omggggggggg.
it's not like you didnt already have the answer,
you just would rather watch me fidget and scream at you right.
tmd.
it's almost as if you knew exactly what i meant when i asked that.
it's almost as if you knew how exactly i'm playing this game.
it's almost as if you knew how much i wanted you to say yes.

i'm sorry i gave in to temptation soniaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. ):
i couldnt resist.

dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you

Labels: How now brown cow?

hello, i miss you quite terribly.

the day was stupid. amath's was ew.
with yeoyeo and her BAHHHHH story. -.-

lit was the usual, with mrsloe zi-highing.
i quite like the apparitions part of macbethhhh.
it's FASCINATING. (:

magnetism is stuuuuuuuuuu-pid luhh.
why the HELL are we learning this?!

TRIED to study SS during recess.
i dont know how much got into my head though.
i just read through the textbook.

i cant stand cumulative frequency graphs. ):
happyhilary kept staring at me OMG.

ting li during chinese was GOOD.
because it means we did practically nothing the whole lesson.

and so you've found your rainbow, and the pot of gold. actually, pots of gold.
i'm happy for you, truely. but then again, it just reminds me how alone i am now.
some random person promised me a rainbow after the storm, but all i see now is a big fat nothing. i still cant see what i did wrong. i know i screwed up somewhere, but i dont know exactly what. somehow i never thought you'd pick yourself up before me, but you did. you've become optimistic, and you tell me it's cos of me. but why do i feel more and more pessimistic as the days go by hopelessly quickly. you tell me what doesnt kill me makes me stronger cos i told you that in the past, but you dont understand that nothing in the past applies for me now. everything i wanted slipped by, and i dont know how to get it back.

stoned the entire english lesson away.
emaths supp was just as STUPID as the rest of the day.

joy oh joy, then we had string.
yay, we've to fucking practice the same old pieces every recess.
EVERY RECESS TILL THE 20TH.

nine days more ONLY. (:
and then i'll be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

nine days more ONLY. ):
and then i'll no longer feel like a part of the string clique anymore.

i'm awfully sad. ):

wish you were here.

good friday holiday was goooooood. (:

met sharm at 11+ at tm,
and for one i was early but SHE WAS LATE!
walked around searching for STUFF.
found STUFF and went to find the THING to store the STUFF.
hahaHA.
went to bugis after that.
met kayan and huimin after 1.30pm,
had lunch at macs.
goodnewsgoodnews ((:
walked around AIMLESSLY after that
and then we watched meet the robinsons
it was really nice (: uhhuh.
supposed to go home after that,
but i ended up going to sharm's house to make the THING.
*smiles mysterious smile*
someone better be happy!
(:

did i mention?
sharm wore a SKIRT.
and rather SHORT one too.
lol. shorter than mine anyway.

and hence, that concludes my GOOD friday. ((:

today was sleepy.
felt so listless during tuition today.
did exponantial differentiation.
yeoyeo taught that already, so the questions were quite okay.

piano was horrible.
i just cant get any better la.
i'm stuck in a rut, i cant emote any more than banging on the piano keys.

i cant kill my obssesion.
it's not that i dont want to.
i just. cant.
)):


ohsevenohfourthousandseven

jojo scolded me AGAIN.
like DUH.
gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. )):
i'm just angry cos i actually did PUT IN THE EFFORT FOR PHYSICS
wtf.

i love pocky, and so does my sitting area in class. (:
there were FIVE boxes of pocky in class today.
HEHHEH.

caroline loe is very good at self-high-ing!
haahha. lit was HILARIOUS.
she is so excited about MACBETH, i'm puzzled.

what's the point of chinese remedial. -.-

okay, the string outfit is really reallyyyyyyy the most embarrasing thing i've ever worn,
BUT MS YEO LOVES IT.
she's says this is how all ladies should dress.
i asked her if we should all wear this to prom and she stood there thinking for awhile.
and then she told vicki and i
no, all the girls like to wear barebacks for prom!
and it's all semitransparent, and they wear black bras underneath!
and then she gives this very very disapproving look.
and THEN she suddenly says
i know what you all look like!
(stunned silence from vicki and i)
you look like you serve dim sum in a chinese restaurant!
(shocked silence from vicki and i)
and yeoyeo gave us her wide-eyed grimace.

O.O

i'm MORTIFIED.

as usual,
the istana people had practice today while we stoned outside.
snuck out of school to videoworld!
okay, we didnt sneak out.
we held hands and openly skipped out of school.
(:
played PICTIONARY in videoworld on rebecca's doodleboardthingy!
that was fun (:
rushed back to school when they told us yeoyeo was looking for us. -.-

the PRACTICE sucked.
i HATE HATE HATE BEING IGNORED.
fuck it.

i never wanna go back for another practice again.
cos seriously
WHAT'S THE POINT.

ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARR.

i finished programme notes.
i made up EVERY SINGLE WORD.
i'm beyond proud of myself now. (:
i'll prolly FAIL but i dont care.
cos they're all printed out pretty-ly (:
degli antoni seems to have NEVER EXISTED. (:
ohwell.

the stringe blouse is the fugliest thing i've seen in my whole life.
)))))));

and the home ed bitch wants us to wear it tmr.
!#$%#$%&%^**^%#$
it's like......... a chamber maid's attire okay. ):
the skirts really niceeeeeeee. but the top spoils it all!
bahhhhh.

wtv.

soniaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,
it was nice to finally FINALLY be able to say IT.
it's been a bit too long.
and i hope you liked our card.
you know we love you <3


it's too late to turn back,
i've faced it but nevertheless
it's still difficult.

SPA was stupid. )):
i think i failed experimental techniques, again.

chinese oral was stupid-er.
got chiamfeifei as examiner, thought it would make me less nervous but apparently NOT.
the passage was still ok. got 3.5/5
and she went through the yilun question in class but obviously, i wasnt listening.
my mind and my mouth disconnected for a while and i had no idea what i said to her. -.-
and then i burst out laughing.
and THEN she started laughing at me too.
and then oral was over.

then blah, and went studying instead.
yay, i feel mildly prepared for the CA tmr.
what an accomplishment.

i want syf to be over soon, so kayan and i can be study buddies. (:
but then again, i'll miss PEOPLE.

uhhuh.
but you win some, and you lose some.

*shrugs*

how did you enjoy your APRIL FOOLS DAY?

((:

got tricked two and a half times!
first by CERI; called her up and she told me i was the sixth person to call her. -.-
then by LEUNG; okay, i only HALF believed her. (:
and finally by SHIRLEEN LOW; ok i got so worried la! just returned her the new moon book, and a few hours later she told me 4 pages were missing. and she told me the pages and which chapter it's from somemore! okay, SCARY. and i remember getting tricked by her last year too. silly me.

haha, but that's the fun of april fools eh!

andddddd. i told clara that im going to pierce my nose and she believed me okay!
HEEHEE.
and abi's expression when i told her i saw yeoyeo with some guy was PRICELESS.

HAWHAWHAWHAWHAW. x)

physics spa and chinese oral tmr.

GAHHHHHHHH.

i'm like. scared. ):